Relational Feedback: Fostering Connection, Trust, and Growth

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Originally posted on Transforming Education Blog, September 23, 2026

Special gratitude to Anné Klint for encouraging me to share this with the SWC community.

Human connection, small moments of affirmation, and presence all make teaching and learning relational. What difference does feedback really make? For me, it was the difference between failure and finding my voice as a writer.

As an underprepared high school graduate and entering college freshman, I failed English Composition the first time I took it. I received essays back from my professor with failing grades – a big “D” or “F” written in red ink across the top of my paper, with no feedback on what I did wrong. I still remember the feelings of inadequacy to this day.

As a first year college student, I wasn’t even sure I belonged in college (imposter syndrome is a very real thing) and did not reach out to my professor to ask for feedback for fear that she would think I was “not college material.” ��I found her unapproachable and felt like I had to just push through and figure it out on my own. As a student in her classroom, I did not feel seen, heard, or as though I brought anything forward that was of value. This was a lecture-based class and for the most part, our role as students was to listen and soak in what she had to say. Ultimately, I ended up failing the class.

I retook the class the next semester with another professor, the late and fortunately, my experience was very different. While my essays were still marked up, my professor provided rich feedback both in terms of what I needed to correct and what I was doing well. She also took the time to comment on the content of my essays, providing personalized feedback that felt like see saw and heard me and like I had something of value to convey through my writing. Interestingly, teaching at the University of New Mexico-Los Alamos was�� just one of her vast contributions in her field, yet she made a profound difference for me.��

My writing improved significantly that semester and my perception of writing shifted – I began to see it as a vehicle for my voice and felt empowered to use my writing as a venue for thinking and learning. I would’ve never predicted that many years later, I would be able to take a graduate level creative writing course or write an entire dissertation. I also distinctly remember what it felt like to be in each of these professor’s classrooms – in the second professor’s classroom I felt connection, trust, and encountered tremendous growth. I also felt seen, heard, and valued, and as though she recognized my potential.

Feedback as Presence

Traditional assessment often reduces feedback to points, percentages, and performance. In a relational approach, assessment becomes a conversation, a co-created journey between teacher and student (Henderson et al., 2019). Feedback is so much more than correcting; it is about being fully present with our students along their learning journeys. Students want to know that their voices are heard, that their ideas matter, and that their efforts are recognized (McArthur, 2019).

I see feedback as a dialogue that I engage in with my students. As I construct feedback, I begin with the end in mind with the message I want my feedback to convey to them and the impact that I want my feedback to have on them. That message is that I genuinely care about them and what they have to say and that my feedback is meant to help them learn and grow. When feedback becomes a dialogue between teacher and student, students begin to see assessment not as a judgment, but as an invitation to grow and deepen their learning.

In addition to providing students with feedback on what they did well and ways they can improve, I pose questions to help them reflect more deeply about the content and identify implications and practical applications for their learning. I invite them to respond, and I am always pleasantly surprised by the responses I receive. By inviting dialogue, we open the door for relationships built on mutual trust, caring, and respect to blossom.

I strive to provide substantive, thoughtful, and personalized feedback and I actually share this commitment in my welcome announcement in the first week of class. As a practice, I provide comments on my students’ work via in-text annotations, overall comments and feedback, and targeted feedback on the rubric for criteria that were not fully met.

I begin with overall feedback and then note strengths and areas for improvement, reframing them as��opportunities for growth. Often, I extract and cite quotes in the reflective feedback I provide – this further validates that their voice and perspective has value. This practice conveys that I read their work and took the time to integrate their perspectives intentionally and reflectively. This goes a long way in forging authentic relationships with my students.

Shifting from Transactional to Relational Feedback

In the online environment, the connection between student and teacher is vital. A key shift is from “telling” and “correcting” to entering into dialogue with students. Posing questions to support students’ meaning-making is an essential ingredient of relational feedback. ��I strive for a balance of positive/validating feedback (noting strengths) and constructive critique (noting growth opportunities). While I provide feedback on their grammar, punctuation, sentence/paragraph structure, and formatting, this is not the focus of my feedback.

Trust and Vulnerability in Online Feedback

Opening one’s self up to receiving feedback is a vulnerable act. When students hit “submit,” they are sharing a piece of themselves with their professors, especially in a transformation learning environment like 99��Ƶ, where throughout the curriculum they are journeying inward and examining the intricate layers of self . Relational feedback honors that vulnerability. It balances encouragement with critique, offering guidance in a way that builds trust (Shute, 2008).

Trust is at the heart of relational feedback, and the words we choose matter. Even a slight shift from “You didn’t meet the requirement” to “I encourage you to expand this idea further” changes the overall tone and can shift students’ perception of grading and feedback. Students are more likely to take risks and lean into growth when they know the person giving feedback believes in them (Hattie & Timperley, 2007). As teachers, our feedback should balance challenge with affirmation:

Acknowledge their effort and growth
Offer suggestions for them to strengthen their work (opportunities for growth)
Use language that conveys care, curiosity, respect, and partnership

When students know feedback comes from a place of care and belief in their potential, they are more likely to take risks and engage more deeply with the content.

Practices to Foster Relational Feedback Online

Some practices that have helped to cultivate relationships, trust, and connection in my classes:

Audio or video-based feedback to personalize responses (this goes a long way in the online environment – hearing your voice makes you a “real” person in what may seem like a depersonalized learning environment).
Teacher-Student feedback protocols that establish assessment as a dialogue vs. one-way feedback – this can be establishes by simply inviting a dialogue and conveying that you see assessment as a dialogical process.
Peer-to-Peer feedback with clear protocols (Nicol et al., 2014) to create connection and community (this is especially important in online discussions – structuring engagement in such a way that fosters meaningful interaction and engagement).
Discussion responses that are personalized and focused on content.
Feedback that focuses on learning, growth, and process vs. mastery.
Feedback that builds on students’ curiosities, interests, and self-identified growth edges.
Inviting students to set goals based on feedback and prompting them to bridge their learning to their future work/practice.
Encouraging students to synthesize their learning and engage in metacognition, reflecting on their process.

Reflection

In technological world, feedback may feel like one of the last truly human connections we share with students. When it is relational, feedback becomes more than an instructional tool – it is a way of being present, fostering trust, and reminding students that they are seen, heard, valued, and have and have invaluable perspectives and experiences to share to enrich their learning and the learning of the collective learning community in a class. When I think about the most powerful message I want my feedback to convey, it is that I believe in their potential.��

How do your current feedback practices communicate care and presence?
How are you approaching feedback in a way that honors your students’ unique learning journeys and where they are develpomentally?
In what ways might you shift from feedback as correction to feedback as relationship and dialogue?

Invite you to share your thoughts!

Tips for Relational Instructor Feedback

1. Lead with Presence

Begin comments with recognition of the learner’s effort, voice, or growth.
Use warm, conversational openings:��“I appreciate how you connected this to your own experience…”.

2. Frame Feedback as Dialogue

Pose reflective questions instead of only giving directives:
“How might this connect with your perspective on…”
Encourage students to respond back to your feedback, creating a loop.

3. Balance Challenge with Affirmation

Highlight what’s working��before��naming areas for improvement.
Use coaching language:��“One way you could take this further is…”��rather than��“This doesn’t…”.

4. Honor Student Identity and Agency

Acknowledge lived experience, cultural context, and professional goals in your feedback.
Offer choices for next steps so feedback feels empowering, not prescriptive.

5. Use Multiple Modalities

Experiment with audio or video feedback to let students hear tone and care.
Mix written comments with short check-ins (email, chat, office hour invites).

6. Normalize Vulnerability

Recognize the risk students take in sharing work:��“I appreciate your courage and vulnerability… What you shared prompted me to consider…”.
Share that learning is a process and you, too, are a learner.

7. Close with Forward Momentum

End with encouragement and a vision for growth:��“I look forward to seeing how this idea unfolds for you moving forward.”
Re-anchor feedback in relationship:��“It is such an honor to walk alongside you and witness your growth and learning.”

References:

Brookhart, S. M. (2017).��How to give effective feedback to your students. ASCD.

Carless, D., & Boud, D. (2018). The development of student feedback literacy: Enabling uptake of feedback.��Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education, 43(8), 1315–1325.��

CAST. (2018).��Universal Design for Learning guidelines version 2.2.��

Hattie, J., & Timperley, H. (2007). The power of feedback.��Review of Educational Research, 77(1), 81–112.��

Henderson, M., Ryan, T., & Phillips, M. (2019). The challenges of feedback in higher education.��Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education, 44(8), 1237–1252.��

McArthur, J. (2019). Rethinking authentic assessment: Work, well-being, and society.��Higher Education, 77(5), 873–887.��

Nicol, D. (2010). From monologue to dialogue: Improving written feedback processes in mass higher education.��Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education, 35(5), 501–517.��

Nicol, D., Thomson, A., & Breslin, C. (2014). Rethinking feedback practices in higher education: A peer review perspective.��Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education, 39(1), 102–122.��

Shute, V. J. (2008). Focus on formative feedback.��Review of Educational Research, 78(1), 153–189.��

Virginia Padilla Vigil

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