99福利视频
It鈥檚 been raining. I am wet up to my knees.听听Cold and overcast.听听I am already primed with fear because I saw a black bear on the side of the road on my way here.听听Sure enough, a听听few minutes into the bush and there is fresh bear spore… less than a day old, I鈥檇 say.听听I retrace my steps jingling my bear bell back to the parking lot.听听I haven鈥檛 set my intention yet.听听听Start over again.听听I didn鈥檛 bring tobacco but I have sweetgrass. I smudge myself and ask听听to be safe and to be kept free from danger.听听I draw a line in the dirt and state my intention.听听I intend for this walk to be a ceremonial walk to represent my stepping in the next stage of my life.听听Moving into a healing practice that goes beyond talk therapy.听听Healing that includes healing touch, art and ceremony.听听A walk to represent a ceremonial step from the past into听the future.听听I give thanks to mother earth for providing this 鈥渕edicine place鈥 where I can be refreshed, healed and renewed by her.听听Step over the line.
OK.听听Now what?听听Hmm.听听Medicine walk.听听Does this have something to do with finding and gathering medicine?听听No.听听The walk itself is the medicine.
This place is called Loon Island.听听I don鈥檛 hear any loons but I can see some through the lens in my camera.听听I want to hear loons.听听I want to have the feeling that I get when I hear loons on a northern lake.听听Nothing.听听They don鈥檛 make a sound the whole time I am here. I listen to the wind, the songbirds and water lapping on the shore.听听Peaceful.听听I am aware that in this natural peacefulness I do not hear the high pitched squeal of the tinnitus that I experience sometimes.听听I appreciate the silence.
Having a hard time stilling my mind and just being here.听听I want to analyze everything.听听Struggle to let go.
Found a feather.听听Newly dropped.听听It鈥檚 in good shape.听听At first I think it is an eagle feather but no, it鈥檚 a raven feather.听听Seeing the feather made my heart leap.听听鈥淥h, a sign,鈥 I said.听听A sign of affirmation, a sign of blessing on my next life chapter.听听My Ojibway name in English is 鈥渆arly morning thunder spirit woman.鈥澨鼳 feather is an auspicious find.
The sun comes out. I peel off layers.I can smell the sweetgrass smoke in my hair and clothes.听听I like the feelings that arise with the smell of the smoke.听听Happy,, in touch with my spirit because my brain is connecting it with prayer and ceremony.
Mostly enjoying the now warm sun and sounds of wind, birds and water.听听Once in awhile my mind wanders to the reason I am doing this.听听Touching my spirit through nature.听听I start thinking about Dad.听听He鈥檚 95, in a nursing home with slight dementia.听听Would he like it here?听听How sad that he doesn鈥檛 get to go out now.听听He will never experience nature again.
I鈥檓 not sure you would enjoy this听听wilderness bush and lake at Loon Island
But maybe you would love to be on the land again
Baling hay– clover, timothy and alfalfa, smelling the freshness in morning sun
Riding the combine
smelling the grain as it falls into the hopper
seeing the wheat dust in golden light of late afternoon sun
feeling the sticky sweat of summer heat mixed with sun on your skin
smell of impending thunderstorm coming across Lake Ontario to the south
Maybe one more time
You would like to leave your wheelchair behind
and walk to the back pasture past the pear tree that blossomed in spring
to call the cows in for milking time
One more time you would love to pour milk from the pail into the old cast iron frying pan听听for the cats and kittens that come to the door of the barn
One more time you would love to walk from the barn to house at supper time
Ducking your head under the clothes line hung with a dozen pairs of clean jeans
To sit around the kitchen table and ask blessing
To give thanks for the peas and potatoes Mom had just picked from the garden.
One more time to be in nature
The nature that you loved
And that heartened your spirit.
****
A young woman launched her canoe close to where I am sitting.听听She set out across the lake and was back on shore again in less than 30 minutes.听听I think she by-passed the experience of sun and water.
I brought a rattle, actually a little rainstick as Carol suggested.听听I tried singing and rattling.听听Kinda鈥 fun.听听听Nothing spectacular.听听It was when I started dancing that I felt connected to myself- not sure what that means, but I liked how I felt.听听Uplifted.
Eat some lunch and drink some water.听听Food always tastes better outside, even it it鈥檚 just a sandwich.听听Lay in the sun for awhile.听听Then I leave for home.
Driving home.听听听Didn鈥檛 put the radio on.听听Wanted to keep the peace and silence a little longer.听听听Thinking.听听This was good.听听I liked being in the bush.听听I don鈥檛 want to go to work tomorrow.听听I want to go back to the lake and the bush.听听I am happy and at peace there.
I am curious about how this experience will affect me tomorrow and in days to come.
I can still smell the sweetgrass.听听I smile.
Another sign on the way home.听听A cinnamon bear.听听I interpreted that as mother nature saying听听鈥渢hanks for coming out- enjoyed your company.听听Here鈥檚 a little parting gift.鈥
MEDICINE WALK
July 7, 2013
Riding Mountain National Park
Manitoba, Canada
Nancy Bruyere
